...ahhhhummmm

Today, Thursday August 6^th is to be the official first day in my quest to remove “ummm” from my spoken vocabulary.

It need only be removed from my spoken vocabulary because funnily enough it has never been something that I would write. Sure I might use it deliberately if I wanted to but it never pops up in my prose of its own apparent free will, unlike the manner it does whenever I’m speaking.

I tend to use ‘ummm’ as a filler in normal conversation to ‘stop the gap’ in those micro moments of awkward silence between words.

I also use it, embarrassingly, to fool myself into believing that I am improving the continuity of my speech.

Being of a somewhat ‘know it all’ disposition I have also learnt that continuously fitting ‘ummm’ into a conversation at the right time will not allow the person I am speaking to any chance of getting a word in, thereby allowing me to continue on telling them where something is at without fear of distraction by sidetracking interruption or the facts!

By the same token I often get so carried away with myself that my mouth seems to take off at a hundred miles an hour leaving my brain in the dust because it can only muster a piddly forty miles an hour. ‘Ummm’ then gives me the time I need for my brain to catch up with my mouth.

In reality I have no need for ‘stop the gap’ tools as in all honesty I quite enjoy awkward silences, it gives me an opportunity to observe facial expression and read body language so that I can determine honesty, genuine behavior or lack thereof.

As far as improving speech continuity; that is bollicks! From my viewpoint men whose speech involves a lot of ‘ummming’ present themselves as uncertain and lacking in confidence with regard to the topic of conversation they are currently engaged in. And when it comes to using ‘ummm’ as a means to do all the talking in the hope of convincing someone of how right you are – well that is just wrong! Likewise, if your mouth out distance’s your brain whilst talking you could be setting yourself up for a well deserved punch in the face!

So today hopefully will be the beginning of a much improved me and all I have to do is stop saying ‘ummm’

We’ll see...