I was stopped by the Police while driving down country yesterday. Yeah o.k so admittedly I was getting along a little quickly but only a touch over 120. As soon as I saw him, way off in the distance I got off the go button pretty smartly but damn those automatic’s for just cruising along and not offering any engine braking!
There's something that really annoys me about getting speeding tickets on virtually empty roads that are quite safe in my humblest of opinions, for twice the speed they are rated for!
So... screeching u turn and flashing blue lights.
I pulled over to the shoulder as soon as I saw his indicator go on and already had my license out by the time he finally sauntered up to my window.
“Morning sir” he greets me in the most annoyingly supreme manner, knowing full well it is certainly not going to be a good morning for me at all.
“Are you aware how fast you were traveling back there sir” he offers (still looking far too superior for my liking).
“Well given that this is a highway and taking into account the way the lamp posts were flashing past the side windows I was indeed aware it was most unlikely that I was out for a stroll, so yes” I replied, hoping for all the world that I sounded half as sublime as he and all the while proffering my most placating benign smile. (...was that a twitch I saw in the corner of his mouth, couldn’t be, this is a Policeman, everybody knows the Police have no sense of humor).
“Sir, do you understand why I have asked you to stop”
“Well” I replied feeling my ‘please just fuck off and let me go smile beginning to slip’ “I suppose it would be too much to expect that you have pulled me over to compliment me on my exemplary driving skills – yes?”
I have never, ever in my life got away with anything when the Police are standing next to my window like this guy was. But he laughed! And I mean he really laughed.
“Look” he said, trying ineffectually to stifle his grin. “The reason I’ve asked you to stop is that the speed limit through this area is 100Km/h and you were a little in excess of that”.
“Ah yes, I did surmise as much” I offered, “Perhaps I was just being somewhat over zealous on the whole”.
“The truth is” he continued, “I clocked you doing 119 and you are quite welcome to come over to my vehicle and see the display for yourself”.
“No, no not at all” I gushed knowing I was completely defeated.
“So... all I wanted to say sir was, please, just slow it down a bit o.k, I know it’s only 19km over the limit but that seems to be where a lot of crashes are happening these days, 100 is the limit sir, not the target”. "So please watch your speed and have a nice day sir".
There's something that really annoys me about getting speeding tickets on virtually empty roads that are quite safe in my humblest of opinions, for twice the speed they are rated for!
So... screeching u turn and flashing blue lights.
I pulled over to the shoulder as soon as I saw his indicator go on and already had my license out by the time he finally sauntered up to my window.
“Morning sir” he greets me in the most annoyingly supreme manner, knowing full well it is certainly not going to be a good morning for me at all.
“Are you aware how fast you were traveling back there sir” he offers (still looking far too superior for my liking).
“Well given that this is a highway and taking into account the way the lamp posts were flashing past the side windows I was indeed aware it was most unlikely that I was out for a stroll, so yes” I replied, hoping for all the world that I sounded half as sublime as he and all the while proffering my most placating benign smile. (...was that a twitch I saw in the corner of his mouth, couldn’t be, this is a Policeman, everybody knows the Police have no sense of humor).
“Sir, do you understand why I have asked you to stop”
“Well” I replied feeling my ‘please just fuck off and let me go smile beginning to slip’ “I suppose it would be too much to expect that you have pulled me over to compliment me on my exemplary driving skills – yes?”
I have never, ever in my life got away with anything when the Police are standing next to my window like this guy was. But he laughed! And I mean he really laughed.
“Look” he said, trying ineffectually to stifle his grin. “The reason I’ve asked you to stop is that the speed limit through this area is 100Km/h and you were a little in excess of that”.
“Ah yes, I did surmise as much” I offered, “Perhaps I was just being somewhat over zealous on the whole”.
“The truth is” he continued, “I clocked you doing 119 and you are quite welcome to come over to my vehicle and see the display for yourself”.
“No, no not at all” I gushed knowing I was completely defeated.
“So... all I wanted to say sir was, please, just slow it down a bit o.k, I know it’s only 19km over the limit but that seems to be where a lot of crashes are happening these days, 100 is the limit sir, not the target”. "So please watch your speed and have a nice day sir".
And with that he was gone.
No ticket!
There is a god!
Maybe he used to wear a blue uniform?
Gobsmacked does not come anywhere near it.
So yay! to the Police, or should I say yay! to that Policeman – I don’t even know your name but you have restored my faith in Policekind.
Currently listening to:
Violent Femmes - Violent Femmes
The Black Crowes - Shake your Money Maker
There is a god!
Maybe he used to wear a blue uniform?
Gobsmacked does not come anywhere near it.
So yay! to the Police, or should I say yay! to that Policeman – I don’t even know your name but you have restored my faith in Policekind.
Currently listening to:
Violent Femmes - Violent Femmes
The Black Crowes - Shake your Money Maker
No comments:
Post a Comment